


Can't Live Without a War

by Espresso-Patronum (BucketRogers)



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Arguing, Break Up, Canon Compliant, Emotional, Heavy Angst, Low blows made, M/M, Post-Accords angst, Sokovia Accords, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, our boys need a therapist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-22
Updated: 2018-11-22
Packaged: 2019-08-27 17:50:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16707142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BucketRogers/pseuds/Espresso-Patronum
Summary: Ultron said Captain America could never live without a war.Tony thinks he may have been right.





	Can't Live Without a War

**Author's Note:**

> So, wow, I went all in on the angst, this is sad as fuck, and I'm strangely proud of it.
> 
> Unbeta'd, all mistakes are my own.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

“You can’t be serious, Steve! This is absurd! You can’t go looking for him, he’s a fugitive!” Tony chased after the man who was walking away from him. It took effort. Tony wasn’t young anymore, something he was reminded of with every ache and pain that took over his body. On top of that, Steve was still young, and his supersoldier healing took care of any issues. He moved faster than Tony could keep up with, but he was determined to get the man to just fucking stop and listen for once.

“He may be a fugitive in your eyes, Tony, but all I see is a man being used! Hydra has tortured and manipulated him for 70 goddamn years! Whatever he’s done, it’s not with full control and I have no doubt it’s against his will.” He sighed and finally turned to face Tony.

“I get that, Steve, I do, but let us bring him in. Let the government do its job. The Accords are important, they were put into place for a reason. You can’t just go out and fix every situation without oversight! We’ve seen how bad that can be, in Sokovia, in Lagos. You trying to catch him on your own is going to be a disaster, and you know it!”

“I don’t care.” Steve shook his head, looking away. “Bucky is my best friend, he always will be. If I let the government attempt to capture him, I have no certainty that he won’t be killed on the spot. I will do what I have to in order to save him, regardless of what that makes me in the eyes of the law.”

Tony huffed out a breath, getting angrier and even more frustrated. “For fuck’s sake, Steve, am I not your friend too, am I not more than that?! I love you, Steve, and you love me, we’ve said it a million times. Can you stop and try to think about this from my perspective? I don’t want you risking your life chasing after him cause he’s not Bucky anymore. He’s a soldier, a mindless drone of Hydra, and no matter how much you think you can fix it, he’s not going to remember you!”

Tony briefly registered the look of pain on Steve’s face. Certainly, Steve knew that what Tony was saying was true, but he just wouldn’t accept it. Before Tony could keep going, Steve cut him off. His voice was lower and quiet, but Tony could feel the rage bubbling up underneath it.

“I have an obligation to my friend, Tony. I have to at least try.”

“Well, I have an obligation to my job, goddamnit! To the people who have been hurt because of our actions, people like Charlie Spencer!” Tony turned his back then. He could feel himself starting to cry, but he wouldn’t, he couldn’t. No matter how hard this was, no matter how much he wanted to hug Steve and never let him go, he couldn’t.

“Do you realize what this is gonna do? Not only to the team but to me. To us.” Tony continued, his voice basically a whisper now. “You’re gonna be a fugitive. People will be chasing after you to arrest you. I’m certainly gonna be questioned, they’ll come to me thinking I know where you are. And, of course, because I love you and I care too much about you, I’ll lie and say I don’t know. But every day and every night, I know you’ll be off chasing someone who’s not going to be who you want him to be. You’re starting a fucking war and you’re not going to know how to end it.”

Steve stepped closer then, reaching out for him. “Tony, I’m sorry. But I have to do this, you know I do.” When Steve tried to grab his hand, Tony yanked away from him, finally turning to face him.

“You can’t live, you can’t go on without someone to fight, to the point that you’re creating battles that don’t have to be fought. You say you want normalcy, you want a relaxing life, but it’s fucking bullshit! Captain America, God’s righteous man, pretending you could live without a war. Ultron was right about you.”

Tony saw the pain in Steve’s eyes, saw the way he recoiled as if he had been hit. Tony knew that that was a low blow, but at the moment, he couldn’t care less. If Steve wanted to leave that bad, Tony would make it as easy as he could.

“Go, Steve, just fucking go. Get out of here. Whatever we have, or had, is gonna be over the second you walk out that door though.” He looked away, unable to bear the sight of Steve leaving. A part of him hoped that maybe Steve would stop, would rethink his choices and decide to stay. But, of course, he kept walking, and it wasn’t until the doors closed and Tony could hear the elevator going down that he finally let himself fall to the floor and cry.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! You can find me on tumblr at [stonky-gayngst](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/stonky-gayngst) and on Pillowfort at [Espresso-Patronum](https://www.pillowfort.io/Espresso-Patronum)!


End file.
